self portrait in a confusing time

self portrait in a confusing time

some other summer/home things

I went on this rant in my journal the last night I was home. I guess it was sort of like a letter to myself. Even though I completely disregarded all grammatical rules (which I always do tbh), writing it just felt like something that I needed to do. Poorly written but still important. 

Someone told me I should be a little bit more open. Sharing pieces of my journal and writing a text post on the internet feels a little bit like cheating, and also seems like a 14 year old approach. It lacks sophistication and makes me feel lame but there was something about sharing it that made it feel a little bit more complete for me. Idk. 

This summer was nothing but battling my illness along with other things. But I think the battle within the battle was admitting being sick and becoming conscious of the fact that some things are hard for me (even re-reading “my illness” makes me feel like a butt hole). And I guess this letter was an effort in trying to end this fight. Or not really ending it but helping myself understand that the battling the fear the everything, is necessary. So it’s ok. 

When I went home I knew I wanted to continue this project mostly because I was interested in seeing how it would change directions after revisiting it almost a year later. I don’t really know how I feel about the subtitles. It might be a little too much idk tell me what you think I guess. But now this project has turned into a force of clarification with myself. 

idk idk idk 


It’s been a rough summer/iPhone pics

from the nude model session

part 2 of my large format final (a little bit of it). which is a revisitation of a project I started a year ago. 

I am very interested in the collaborative aspect in working with a subject. However, I am even more intrigued by the model’s ability to release his/her personality within my direction. This sort of release is a consequence of the subject’s presence, something of which is unapologetic in its visibility and uniqueness. Our appearance, even though it might not be able to literally speak, it says the strongest words about us. Because they are not the same words that you speak, they are the words that you can only show. They also tell the strongest story about us. Even though the story is that of a silent one it contains a visual sound that gives it the capacity to be the loudest. These words create their own language; a language that has the ability to evoke feeling, raise questions and create both the beautiful and the ugly. I photographed a few of the same spaces several times using the same composition, but in each image I chose a different subject. I also appropriated classical positioning, seen in both the early stages of photography and painting, in order to display how each appearance breathes differently in this historical posture that is then brought into a contemporary context. Through this work I made the attempt to explore the idea that a person and their appearance has the ability to construct a new context. This series is a depiction of the power of our presence.

part 1 of my large format final

With this work I tried to challenge the idea of using the body as material and explored the possibility of its representation through abstraction. I took from my experience of drawing the figure and attempted to build a parallel with the sensibility in photographing it. A focus in how the body can complete a composition in the same manner of a line or gesture  within a drawing served as the impetus for this work. How can the body function in the context of design? Is it possible to depict a figure without the intention of a narrative being constructed from it? What sort of questions or feelings are then evoked when a figure only stands as a representation rather than an element in the telling of a story? Is it possible to contextualize a body in conjunction with the space around it? These are the questions that I explored when creating this work. My desire is to inaugurate a discussion of how gesture and design can coexist in relation to the body.

contact print of one of my first few large format photos


contact print of one of my first few large format photos

self portrait

contact prints of some of my first few large format photos

the spoken word from this

this is also the collection of poems:

I enter the room

it’s filled, it’s empty

my father’s untold stories

hug the walls

the words are unspoken


still become mine

pretty one, sweet one

my mother’s chant, my mother’s lullaby

pretty one, sweet one

she tries to sing of truth

but I can only hear it

as a note

my breathing is easy

has no reason to be other


I’m scratching my neck

and pulling

my hair

I can feel you in this room

But it’s only

through your touch

that a tickle

of my skin

is possible

I’m looking at myself

the self

through a glass

But it be like

But it is

Hush shh shh

your presence is

getting a little

too loud

What is it just to have

What is it just to hold

a slow move of the shoulders


a slow sentence

an unapologetic sun

the unapologetic skin

the non forgiving skin

always with the resistance,


the unrequited

But none of that matters


If you woke up

this morning and


to yourself

said to yourself

What does it mean to

walk into a room

and the sound of

you batting your eyelashes



To be the ghost of a notion

to be the shadow

to be nothing


what is left


We took the whispers

condensed them into the

size of our palms

That’s where they stayed

they lived

But it’s almost impossible

to notice


a hush

in a clenched fist


We tiptoed around the


danced around the


We could maybe




Your exterior, your essence

gives these four walls

an embrace but not



not involving




the noise of a stranger

brushes your

left wrist

It’s all in the same manner

I could maybe



She Introduces Herself, but Her Skin Clouds Her Words

my photo final for multilevel

the conclusion to all of this 

at least for now idk

forgotten photos of marquis that I finally edited


Being home is not my favorite thing tbh

madasrabbits06: I read that response as like a FIIIIIIINE artist, like, damn girl you fine.

thats what i meant